Discredited:
Parental Alienation

Parental alienation syndrome (PAS) is a discredited concept that describes a supposed phenomenon where one parent intentionally manipulates a child to turn them against the other parent. 

It is also a popular (and unfortunately effective) allegation for a high conflict individual to lob at a healthy parent during custody disputes.

Parental Alienation Syndrome has no scientific basis and is not recognized by major health organizations.

What you need to know:

Lack of scientific validity and diagnostic recognition

• Not based on peer-reviewed science: PAS was developed by child psychiatrist Richard Gardner in the 1980s. His early work was self-published and not subject to scientific peer review.

• Not recognized by major health organizations: PAS has been rejected by the American Psychiatric Association (APA), the American Psychological Association (APA), the American Medical Association (AMA), and the World Health Organization (WHO).

• Excluded from diagnostic manuals: It is not included in the APA's Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM) or the WHO's International Classification of Diseases (ICD). The APA declined its inclusion because it saw the issue as a "relationship problem" rather than a mental disorder within an individual.

Misuse in child abuse and custody cases

• Misinterprets evidence of abuse: Allegations of "parental alienation" can be used by an abusive parent to reframe evidence of child abuse or neglect, blaming a child's legitimate fears and concerns on "brainwashing" by the healthy parent.

• Enables abusers: Abusive parents use claims of parental alienation to discredit healthy parents—most often mothers—who are attempting to protect their children. By falsely portraying himself as the victim of alienation, an abusive parent may weaponize the family court system to regain control.

• Discounts a child's testimony: The parental alienation theory can cause courts to dismiss a child's testimony or stated preferences as unreliable or manipulated. In extreme cases, this has led to court orders removing the child from the healthy parent, and even placing the child into a "reunification camp" with the abusive parent.

Oversimplifies complex family dynamics

• Ignores a child's valid reasons for rejection: In divorce cases, a child may reject a parent for valid reasons, such as abuse, neglect, or the parent's own negative behavior. 

• Pathologizes children's behavior: Some mental health professionals argue that the concept pathologizes a child's natural resistance to a parent, especially teenagers. Instead of being seen as a developmental phase or a response to conflict, it labels the child as having a pathology.

• Gender-biased origins: Early formulations of PAS were influenced by the misogynistic perception of mothers as vindictive and irrational.

Controversy and persistence in the courts

Despite widespread scientific criticism, the concept of parental alienation persists within the legal system, sometimes under different names such as "parental alienating behaviors" or "resist-refuse dynamics." Legal experts should not use these terms, especially when balanced against allegations of domestic violence.

Protecting Yourself against Accusations of Alienation

• Always use the term "our" child not "my" child.

• Never speak ill of your ex, not even sarcastically. 

• Keep younger children in the dark with regards to conflicts.

• Be willing to be the secretary. Include your ex in all appointments and activities on a shared calendar. Send informative emails and reminders.

• Learn "Yellow Rock" communications -- a friendlier but businesslike version of Gray Rock.

• Help the kids buy birthday and holiday gifts and cards for Dad.

• Keep a smile on your face -- in and out of court.

• Use a court-approved app such as Custody Xchange, Our Family Wizard or Talking Parents to document communications.

• Remain unemotional and professional. No need for defensiveness, anger, or fear.

• Follow court orders to the letter.